On this last week of Black History Month, I thought I would discuss the idea of prejudice and stereotypes and how one combats them. I know some people say they are not prejudiced and/or do not hold any stereotypical ideas, and they would consider themselves to be “woke.” At one time, I would have considered myself as not having a prejudiced bone in my body. However, thankfully pre-Internet, I got called out for a stereotypical statement I made. I had to take a long hard look at myself and our society, as well as the concept of stereotypes and prejudice.
What I realized is that there is only one group on our planet today who does not have a prejudiced bone in their body – children who have not been taught that there are people different from them in any way. For example, the children who look at another child wearing the exact same clothes as they are and see that other child as their identical twin, not seeing the different race, sex, or even height. Otherwise, I hate to tell everyone else on the planet – you are prejudiced and have stereotypical ideas in your ideology. Now that I pissed off almost everyone in the world, let me explain how I arrived at the concept that no one, including myself, can call themselves “woke.” I can tell you the two pivotal moments when I stopped being an innocent, clueless child untainted by stereotypical prejudices.
The first time was when I was taught the nursery rhyme “What are little girls/boys made of?” For those who never heard of it – girls were made of sugar and spice and everything nice, and boys were made of snips and snails and puppy dogs’ tails. And in the pictures of these nursery rhymes, girls were wearing dresses and dressed in either pink or red. Boys were wearing shorts or pants and dressed mostly in blue and sometimes green. So in my child’s mind – girls were good, liked pink, and wore dresses. Boys were bad, like blue, and wore pants. The second instance is when I was taught about Black History during black history month (shout out to Featherbed Lane Elementary!). At the time I was teased by the black students that I talked white. My mom told me that I just talked proper English and that is true. Once I learned about slavery and the civil rights movement, I also realized that indirectly the black students were implicating that I was trying to pass or being something that I wasn’t. I tried to hide the fact that I liked pop and rock music, besides R&B and the beginnings of what would be rap. I tried to hang in and be cool with the black students, at the expense of my white friends. I was in a no-win situation. My child’s mind concluded that it would be be better if i was white. Then it wouldn’t matter that I liked what was considered “white music.” My nightly prayer to God became not to save my soul but to be white. Thank you, God, for not listening to a child’s prayer! Can you imagine if in the the 1980’s there was a surgery that could change people’s races and they allowed children to have it? Also, imagine if my mother didn’t believe in teaching me to love myself and accept myself for being a black girl? I would not be the beautiful, funny, unique woman I am today! Thank you, God, for my mother!
Let’s say you’re going to avoid society’s trap by being asexual or color-blind. or raising your kids that way. You’re only compounding the problem. Because you have created a new classification by rejecting the society-based generalizations that everyone, including yourself, holds. I know some of you are really pissed now. However, I do have an idea for how to slowly change the generalizations and stereotypes that society passes down through generations. It sounds simple, but it’s extremely hard to practice.
First, we have to admit that we as individuals, as well as a society, have stereotypical and prejudiced concepts and behaviors in our ideology – whether they come from family, friends, educators, books, or media (social and otherwise). Once we admit to the programming, we have to take it further by embracing everyone’s differences. We might be made in God’s image, but each one of us is unique and different down to our fingerprints and even our souls. There will never be another me or you, even if they appear on the surface to look the same as you or me. They will have different experiences with a different family, friends, history, and yes, even personality. We have love, accept, and celebrate other people’s differences. We have to stop relegating the education about race, gender, religions, etc., to specific holidays and months and have that being taught EVERY SINGLE DAY! American History and Literature should be about all Americans, not just white male Americans. World History and Literature should not be just about male Europeans, but the entire world. We should not be relying on colleges to fill in our children’s ignorance of other cultures/gender histories, and literary greatness.
Beauty is loving the difference in yourself and other people. Beauty is loving people even if you don’t agree with them or their life choices. Beauty is accepting that you are different from everyone else and being damn glad that you don’t fit in the box society wants you to fit in. Imagine if we lived in a society where everyone looked, thought, and acted exactly like everyone else? It would get boring real fast, and people would be sick of that world before the month was over.
It’s time to wake up, people. There is no such thing as being woke. You want to end stereotypes and prejudice? Celebrate the other, don’t try to silence it. Educate your children about the other and also teach them that no matter what – you love them and God loves them just the way they are. Destroy the concept of “normal.” It doesn’t exist. If you have to use a generalized word – for now, let’s use “ordinary.” To me, “ordinary” is the simple truth that everyone is different and that is a blessing. I don’t want to live in a Stepford society of haves and have-nots.
Until next time!
R.R. Peace, Author and Poet 