A few weeks ago, a podcaster said, “A good friend is a sturdy shelter.” The podcaster also stated, “A good friendship is one where you help each other grow in holiness.” I have to admit that when I was younger, I was often a difficult person to be friends with. Partially due to immaturity and also due to unhealed trauma that I didn’t take the time to properly take care of. When I got my mental illness of schizo-affective disorder, it made my rampant immaturity and trauma issues take center stage. I lost more friends to my behavior than I care to admit.
However, there were some friends who remained and became my ride-or-die posse. They reminded me that I was loved and that there would be people who would miss me terribly if I were to prematurely end my life. They reminded me that I was a better person than I thought I was and, most importantly, a beautiful person inside and out. My size and my mental illness didn’t matter to them. They kept telling me that people’s opinions shouldn’t matter to me – even if they are my family. It was only after I started to do the work, that I realized they were right. Their love and honesty were the shelter in my psychological storm. They helped me grow in holiness, even though some of them weren’t even religious.
Today, I feel like I am the blind man who can now see. I want everyone to experience the joy and hope I am feeling about my life and future now. I wouldn’t be here now, enjoying this grace, if it weren’t for the ride-or-die posse sticking by me, even though I may have tried to push them away.
Yesterday, we lost a woman whom everyone wanted to be friends with, Dolly Parton. What I loved about her was her big heart, and no matter how successful she became, she stayed grounded in who she always was. She had an awesome attitude about life and faith. As I think of the kind of friend I want to be for my ride-or-die posse and all the new friends I am making, I want people to love and respect me the way they did Dolly – not just for her talent but for her capacity to love and give of herself to everyone. Dolly was a light in the world that will be missed.
I pray that because of her positive influence, we all take up her mantle and shine our own lights. That we all become someone’s shelter in the storm rather than the cross on their back. And that we bring out the best in one another rather than instigating wars based on personal vendettas. I pray that we all strive to be better friends and, for our enemies, love them and wish them well. Let the anger and hate in our hearts go and try to be the good we want to see in the world. I finally pray that you have friends in your life that are like my ride-or-die posse or like the friend I imagine Dolly was. RIP Ms. Parton.
Until next time!
R.R. Peace, Author and Poet 