AI defined a cougar as “a slang term for a middle-aged woman who seeks romantic, dating, or sexual relationships with significantly younger men, usually in their 20s or 30s.” Most middle-aged women hate this term because it has a disparaging connotation. It basically implies that the middle-aged woman is desperately trying to prove she is still sexy and attractive by seducing a man young enough to be her son. Middle-aged men who pursue significantly younger women are called sugar daddies. They are admired and considered still virile (even if they are using viagra!). The double standard is unfair and unjust.
Now, being a single middle-aged woman, known as the cool, wise Auntie by her nephews and nieces, by blood and by love. I wanted a new identity for this new phase of life that I am entering. In my youth, my mother had me focus on supporting myself and getting a good job with good benefits, so I could retire well. Now, with retirement in sight, I am considering a second career, pursuing dreams my mother would have told me were risky and frivolous in my youth. I’m remembering how much I enjoyed trying something just for the fun of it, without expectations or creating a narrative about it in my head. I didn’t realize how empowering it was to behave the way I want to and not constantly behave in a way to get more people to like me. I allow myself to take up space now and shine my inner light around like a car driving around at night with its high beams on.
I looked up the description of what a cougar, the animal, actually was – using Our Lady of Wikipedia. Cougars purr like domesticated cats. They thrive in diverse habitats and are solitary and territorial. They only come together for mating or if the mother is taking care of her cubs. Also, they are an ambush predator who hunt various prey. The animal a cougar actually is, is more in line with what I am right now – a confident, established Auntie who knows that the person I have been looking for is myself. I am the huntress that chooses a mate when I want to settle down, not because of societal pressure. I am the predator who knows that if I have to do it by myself, bills will get paid and there will still be food on my table. I don’t have to shout to get my point across. I’m a badass cougar! In this new phase of life, I’m ready to cause some chaos. Want to join me?
Until next time!
